Reframing your negative self-talk…

Your mind is highly intelligent and incredibly creative, you experience over 6,000 thoughts a day paying attention to only a few which are often the most unhelpful ones or the all-singing, all-dancing ones.

We humans like to play to extremes…

Notice I said, ‘experience’

It’s important to consider a mental thought as something you experience, this means you can observe your thoughts and be witness to them rather than allowing your negative thinking to run the show!

When you learn to observe your thoughts you are better able to change them and the effect they are having on your wellbeing, and you can do this by recognising when unhelpful thoughts arise and beginning to reframe them to have a positive impact.

The thoughts you pay the most attention to have the biggest influence on your life so it’s important for your wellbeing to be aware of how they are making you feel and cultivating a practice of reframing negative thoughts to create a more supportive narrative.

Negative self-talk can take on many forms

We all have an inner voice and sometimes that voice is upbeat and proud, like an inner cheerleader, however, other times your inner voice can sound excessively negative and repetitive, and while it is normal to experience negative thoughts from time to time, they can cause significant stress if you aren’t able to recognise them and shift yourself into a more aligned way of thinking.

Limiting or negative thoughts you might have could be;

“I am not good enough..”

“Nothing I do goes to plan..”

“Nobody cares about me..”

“I should be better at this by now..”

These thoughts aren’t helpful, nurturing or encouraging and they limit your ability to believe in yourself but they’re pretty good at showing up frequently.

When your thoughts impact your self-esteem they affect your motivation to get things done and move towards your goals which impacts your confidence, changing how you interact with the world around you.

The way you think changes how you feel

The thoughts you have, affect how you feel emotionally, impacting your mood, your behaviour and the way you interact with people around you. Your well-being is multi-layered therefore negative thoughts create a negative experience; a bad day, a difficult week, or a challenging period in your life can be influenced by your thoughts and vice versa; your experience of the challenges in your life can create more negative thoughts.

Negative self-talk influences your productivity, confidence, focus and your self-esteem because your negative thoughts are limiting your ability to believe in yourself.

Shrugging off these thoughts can be tough however, it is important to realise your thoughts can become your reality. Too much negative thinking can lead to negative lived experiences so we want to help ourselves to shift into a more positive mental space or thought pattern to allow ourselves to live more freely and fully.

You cannot create change from a fixed mindset

Limiting thoughts keep us in one way of thinking and we cannot create change from a fixed mindset. Change is what we need in order to grow, to move forward, taking the next best step, and for self-development. Sadly limiting beliefs and negative thoughts stop us from being able to see the next step.

So, how can you reframe your negative thoughts?

Before you can reframe your negative thoughts you need to learn how to recognise when those thoughts show up.

Begin by paying attention, over the next week, to how your mood shifts and thoughts change.
Keep a notebook handy or type notes into your phone. When you notice a shift in your mood, motivation or self-esteem take a moment to notice what you are thinking and what your self-talk is sounding like?
Pull out any negative phases you hear yourself say over and over, and write down the sentences you are hearing in the mean voice of your inner critic.

Try not to judge yourself for whatever your thoughts may be, your brain is clever and wants to keep you safe so more often than not, the thoughts you have are to keep you from doing anything too new or out-there, “stay safe inside your comfort zone”, is often what your brain might be trying to say.

Next, find a comfortable and quiet space for yourself, place both feet on the floor and take several slow deep breaths and long slow exhales, take time to ground yourself.
Take a look at the phrases and sentences you have written down over the last day or week and ask yourself; are they helpful, do they motivate or encourage me, do they make me feel like my best self? If the answer is no it’s time to reframe them.
Use the grounding breathing method above to help settle yourself and focus your mind. I like to think about being my own cheerleader for this practice or perhaps you could imagine you’re talking to your best friend.
Take each phase and reframe it; literally, flip it on its head! Reverse the negative statement and replace it with something more positive and true, the likelihood of the negative statement being true is pretty slim, no matter how much your inner critic tells you it is!

Writing your thoughts down can be an incredibly supportive practice

I am a fan of pen and paper because your brain is able to identify your handwriting which helps to make this reframing practice even more powerful. Writing your thoughts and emotions down can be incredibly supportive because whilst your thoughts are a series of mental experiences that you think, a sentence is a series of words that you can see and read, this means you are likely to process your thoughts differently. writing things down is quite literally a release of thoughts from your mind into physical words on paper!

Practice is a series of imperfect repetitions

I say this a lot and I will say it again; it takes time to form a habit and anything which isn’t habitual begins as a practice so accept this right now; practice is a series of imperfect repetitions. Negative self-talk is likely to arise time, and time again however, by developing your awareness of your thoughts you’ll be better able to respond in a positive way to them, and your wellbeing will improve as you learn to recognise when your self-talk feels unsupportive and could use a positive reframe!

Big Love,
Becki

Come join the Facebook Group; Big Love Community, where I hold a monthly Self-Care Circle, where you will learn how to self-soothe and rebalance your nervous system and develop self-awareness as you explore mindfulness, breath work, tapping and meditation from the comfort of your home.