Sussing out your unique stress signals
Stress is a natural state your body is designed to move through. The challenge, however, is we can find ourselves stuck in a loop or a never-ending phase of stress. This is something I want to help you change…
How was your day? Hectic, busy, stressful, exhausting… the list goes on.
Finding calm amid the chaos of modern life is more important than ever. It doesn’t need to mean taking big chunks of time off. It's often more valuable to become aware of when you need a time out.
Yes, a week’s holiday would be delightful, although it’s not always possible.
Recognising the subtle signals from your body when life starts weighing you down will conserve precious energy down the road. Exploring, getting curious, and learning the tools that support you will help sustain your health and well-being. Appreciating the weight of your to-do list will help you find the contrasting activities to counterbalance it all.
Changing anything starts with an awareness that something is out of sorts.
Ideally, when something isn’t working we try a different way of doing things. The same is true for ourselves, our health, habits, and happiness.
The problem is we often don’t realise something needs changing until it feels almost too late (sickness, insomnia, burnout). The notorious and far less subtle symptoms of prolonged periods of stress.
Did you know stress is supposed to be a short-lived experience? Like a 100-metre sprint, a gym class, a late-night finishing up a project. The end is in sight and there’s a point of relief and rest to be appreciated once it’s complete.
We don’t want to wear stress like a badge of honour
Sadly, modern life is a little more complicated than it used to be. We’re more distracted than ever and overcommitting ourselves more, adding to the growing list of worries and feelings of not being good enough. Stress takes on different shapes and forms, and you’ll have your own unique set of signals.
Stress isn’t something we need to shy away from. We can learn to embrace it and transform it into something good; releasing the rough, sticky, sludginess, and finding softness.
Stress can feel shameful too. Believing you’re not good enough is a reality we all face. It can feel unforgiving and hard to contain, but the beautiful thing is to realise it needs to flow, to move... To release the pressure.
We don’t want to wear stress like a badge of honour either. We want to see it for what it is:
An energy to be used, transformed, or transported. It has a purpose, a reason for being (whether it makes sense initially or not). It needs a good place to go.
Stress is both good and bad, and intense in both forms. It can feel untamed and unapologetic in how it shows up.
So what’s the difference between good and bad stress?
Negative stress energy comes from situations and experiences that feel uncertain, uncomfortable, often painful or challenging…
Ill health self/loved one
Grief/ loss of a loved one
Relationship problems
Loss of work/ financial pressure
Challenging conversations
Conflict/ confrontation
When positive stress energy happens we may experience a surge of excitement, enthusiasm, or hopefulness…
Goal setting
Applying for a new job or a promotion
Going on a date
Working to a deadline (motivation)
Physical exercise/ Competition
Life-changing event/ moving house/ new baby
When does stress become unhealthy?
Stress is a driving force that fuels our actions...
Meeting a deadline, rushing to catch a train, running a race, prepping for a pitch, going for an interview, lifting weights at the gym, and going on a date. It’s the energy pushing you to the finish line.
But what if there isn’t a finish line, at least not one you can see?
Imagine…
You’re sitting on the sofa scrolling through social media, in Tesco checking your bank balance, reading an email marked urgent, receiving bad news from a friend, going on a walk with your inner critic on high volume…
Then what?
Push it down. Bottle it up. Suck it up. Crack on. “I’ve not got time for this!…” [The pressure builds and becomes hard to contain…]
Instead, notice.
Open your eyes, your ears, your sense of touch. Become aware of what’s going on.
What is happening in the container of your beautiful body?
What do you need in that moment? Do you even know? (It’s ok if you don’t yet.)
Slow down. Slow your breath.
It’s time to shift gears.
So, how can you rebalance when stressed?
We all have a unique set or sequence of stress signals. Some will be similar, although they may show up differently or at different times. As always, this is a practice and it starts with awareness…
What are the first signs you notice that you are stressed?
How do you feel, what are your thoughts, and how do you behave?
What happens first?
How long do these feelings and sensations last?
What self-care practices or habits help relieve the natural stress in your life?
A gentle note: Your answers and awareness will change. You may pick up on different things earlier or later on, or struggle to notice anything at all. Be patient and stay curious.
When stress shows up for me, or should I say in my body, it’s like a jittery creature that lives in my legs, a pain in my chest, or a bruised bloating in my belly.
When I think back, a bubble of fear settled under my ribs a day or two before. It started with a feeling of not being good enough scrolling through social media…
The bloating began before breakfast panicking about everything I had to get through that day…
The urge to ‘crack on’ and ‘deal with it later’ is an attitude we need to change. There’s power in slowing down and switching gears. To not slow down only prolongs the symptoms, they take root and the scales begin to tip.
Creating snippets of self-care, especially during busy periods of work, or when a lot is going on in your life can be a game-changer. Slotting grounding or uplifting practices in between the to-do list, or bookending your day with energising or restorative activities.
Day-to-day stress can get on top of us and turn into something heavier to lift. Getting our heads around the concept of rebalancing keeps the wheels turning and your mind and body happy. The key is to keep things short, sweet, and simple. 5-minutes of slow diaphragmatic breathing on the loo is better than no self-care at all!
Responding to the signals your body gives you is conscious and intentional. Gently guiding yourself back into a state of equilibrium; homeostasis. It’s about coming home to yourself. As many times as you need.
Following the 4Rs will help you become more aware and cultivate self-compassion when stressed.
Recognise - become aware, noticing with curiosity and compassion.
Respond - acknowledge what you’re feeling and what you need.
Rebalance/Reconnect - what tools and inner resources can you call on for support?
Reset or Rest - depending on what you need. Allow time and space for this to happen.
Life can be tough, joyous, exhausting, and inviting. Be kind.
As you start to recognise your body’s unique symphony of signals you can begin to understand yourself better. You can befriend stress and use it in a way that supports you. Using your newfound knowledge and inner resources to shift negative stress into a more positive and purposeful energy.
This is what we’ll explore in Soothed + Spirited my half-day retreat of somatic movement and spiritual practices to reconnect, soothe, and uplift you..
This is an invitation to escape and come home to yourself. You can book your space here!
Big Love,
Becki x