Reflecting on change (and an apple tree).
I was sitting in the garden this morning gazing up at our apple tree feeling sad the beautiful pink blossom has all gone when I noticed these tiny buds of apples had started to appear, and I was reminded that we are in a constant state of change and growth.
It’s possibly the thing I love most about nature; the visual reminders that things change and the realisation that nothing natural is meant to stay the same.
The way the waves ebb and flow reminds me of the way we breathe; the natural rise and fall that keeps us flowing and thriving.
The trees that seem so grounded, so rooted in their place yet they change by the day, season by season.
I often wonder when we let go of the idea that we get to change and be seasonal too?
For a long time, I believed I was a bad person for being unhappy with my career because it was ‘the dream job’ and I should be grateful. I changed companies and worked my way up like I was supposed to but something didn’t feel right. I started doing more of the things that lit me up in my own time to balance out that feeling until the day came I became sick with myself for being unhappy. I realised something big needed to change, and it was me, not simply my job.
The belief I should be grateful for my career in fashion kept me doing something I enjoyed and was good at but that didn’t light me up, for a long time. Deciding to change my career opened up the space for someone who truly loved what I did to come in and embrace it the way I couldn’t.
Change is scary sometimes but nothing new comes from comfort zones and that’s what change brings. The scary bit is the unknown, the uncertainty of what will happen and how it will pay out but at the same time that gets to be exciting too.
When life is feeling a bit out of balance it's only natural that our mood takes a tumble. It works the other way around too; our mood and emotions have a huge influence on our behaviour and how we show up in the world so if our mood is off, the chances are everything else starts to feel that way too.
In the same way, we give our plants a little water or move them so they get more sunlight when they start to wither, we get to give ourselves a little more care and attention too. Checking in on ourselves, noticing when things don’t feel right and being open to changing things so they feel better.
I don’t have it all figured out yet and I doubt I ever will but I am enjoying the unfolding of it all. I now do things every day that lights me up in some small or big way and it’s highlighted to me how out of alignment I was for so many years.
Change is something I accept as inevitable and choose to embrace as non-negotiable in my life now.
I was recently invited onto a podcast, On Point, to talk about Big Love Movement and as we were speaking I honestly had goosebumps all over my body, remembering why I made those changes, what I am doing all this for, and how those changes had once seemed impossible, for me.
The smallest change can have the biggest impact, change doesn’t have to be big and bold like resigning with no job to go to and starting things from scratch unless you want it to be ;-) Change can be gradual, it can be subtle, and it gets to happen in your own way.
You are amazing as you are, my friend, all we need now is to be more tree!
If you would like to hear to my conversation with Taylor, On Point, you can have a listen here on Spotify or Apple.
Big love,
Becki
