My Messy Mental Health
How I’m reconnecting to my body and the tools that have supported my emotional wellbeing
I’ve been toying with sharing what’s been going on behind the scenes but I felt too “deeply in it” to be able to share anything useful or inspiring. Once again I have been reminded to walk my talk, use my tools, seek support, and prioritise my own process of healing.
Being an advocate for mental health with an abundance of knowledge and tools at my fingertips doesn’t mean I don’t find myself in a heap on the floor. Until very recently it was an almost daily practice.
Falling down, and clawing my way back up.
Often it was the Big Love Yogis who picked me up, unbeknownst to them. Our sessions offered me a brief pause in the exhausting episodes of doubt and fear. Hugo has never received so many hugs and has been allowed on the bed more than once (!!) The Bear, aka “that guy I married”, has displayed the patience of a saint whilst going through BIG stuff himself.
Truth is, we are all going through “stuff” but if we can cling to self-compassion and extend empathy to others too, the world will be a better place.
Inner critic narratives can keep you trapped in a cycle of despair
My inner voice right now is saying “Don’t be so dramatic, stop inviting people to your pity party!” but it's those negative narratives that have kept me trapped in a cycle of despair - repair - repeat. At the beginning of this year, I began writing my book. I want to share stories that inspire hope, courage, and awareness, and shed light on the enormity of grief. (In very “-ish” terms!)
I had a “what’s the point?” mentality and reasons “why not” looping in my mind. The problem isn’t that I can’t write or have nothing to write, and I know darn well what the point is! … However, I am only just beginning to accept and unravel my personal story, and if I’m to use it to give context and substance to the ideas I want to share, I’ve got to own it. Cliché, but true.
I began working with a therapist last November, ten months in and I'm unraveling the tangle of trauma and slowly beginning to see there is a way to live with less self-doubt, shame, and guilt. I can highly recommend taking a seat on the therapy train!
I hope by now you know I aim to share my personal experiences through a compassionate lens to let others feel less alone. Often shared in retrospect I’ve felt a distance from them. This is where I am at.
Reconnecting.
The Importance of Self-Care and Compassion
Not too long ago I felt burned out and disconnected. I followed an unknown path that led me to a place of healing and self-connection. Several years later I was confident to share what I'd learned to support and guide others. This continues to be my work and passion however it runs parallel to my personal needs and self-care strategy. I guess it always has. Those who choose to teach are forever learning, and living the message they share.
One of the things that hasn’t gone so well during this time of emotional unrest has been my commitment to my goals and intentions for my business. On the outside, I hope it’s gone semi-unnoticed but I’m also aware that by stepping back to ease the immense personal pressure - I let things slide.
However, the world did not end. (Although it sure felt like it was crumbling!)
Learning to rest
Yes, I took my eye off the ball but my heart was always in it. Things have changed, most of which I had no control over, and the rest I am learning to nurture and nourish.
I write this because I don’t want you to be disillusioned by what you see on social media, the gurus and experts with their “picture perfect” lives. There are enough reasons to doubt yourself in this mad world. I want you to know YOU are what matters. Without you, there is nothing else.
We don't need fancy equipment, expensive retreats, or hours of free time to care for ourselves. We just need to be present, to listen to our bodies and minds, and to respond with gentle, loving attention.
Simple and Supportive Tools for Hard Times
The practices that help me the most when I am at my lowest are simple and mostly free!
Yoga Nidra aka damn-good rest (I could not have managed as well as I did without this almost daily practice!)
Journalling (I rarely have a clue what to write but something always surfaces)
MBSR aka, Mindfulness - Sometimes this is conscious slow breathing, other times a standing body scan, or simply staring out the window
Walks, my body needs movement and supplemented with fresh air it’s the best antidote!
Opening up, to a close friend, a therapist, or the trees. (Yes, I talk to the trees!)
My yoga practice. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t rolled my mat out begrudgingly once or twice but I never regretted it. By giving myself space to rest, I have returned to my yoga mat with a renewed appreciation for it, and my body is thanking me!
Permission slip. Stepping back or taking time for yourself often comes with a layer of guilt and sometimes a smearing of shame to top it off, especially if you are struggling with your mental health. This time I knew I needed to press pause and prioritise my health, self-care, and rest.
Journal Prompts for Self-Care
As I continue this journey, I'm continually reminded that the simplest acts of self-care are often the most powerful. It's the little things – a warm cup of tea, a few deep breaths, or a moment of mindful presence – that can profoundly shift our perspective and replenish our well-being.
If you're feeling inspired to embrace more simplicity in your self-care journey, I encourage you to explore these journal prompts:
What is one simple activity or practice that makes you feel nourished and rejuvenated?
How can you weave more "snippets" of self-care into your daily routine?
Reflect on a time when you got caught up in the idea of "perfect" self-care. How did that make you feel? What would you do differently now?
Start small!
Remember, self-care doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming to be effective. The simplest acts of kindness and presence can profoundly impact our well-being.
So, start small, let go of perfectionism, and trust that even the tiniest self-care moments can create powerful shifts.
When Did Taking Care of Yourself Become So Hard To Do?
A common belief is that self-care is self-indulgent or selfish when it really isn't. Self-care simply means taking care of yourself as you would anyone you love. Imagine if you poured the same amount of love and positive energy into yourself that you did for everyone else.
The purpose of practicing self-care is so you can be the healthiest, fullest version of yourself.
7 Steps to Truly Stress-Free Self-Care
Self-care helps you achieve more of what you want to accomplish in your life and allows you to support others more without ending up feeling drained, or worse, burning out.
In my free guide, I share my 7 steps to truly stress-free self-care! You'll find practical guidance and mindful techniques to explore as you discover your unique blend of sustainable self-care. You can download this here.
And remember my love, simplicity is key when it comes to nurturing ourselves.
Big Love,
Becki x